In the south, problems are wrestled out, talked about and thought out while sittin’ on the front porch. Typically, this is done in the cool evening breeze, lemonaid in hand, grand ole opry playin’ on the radio. Life is slow here and folks can take time to do those kinds of things. The kids are often off runnin’ barefoot in the dirt, catching lightening bugs and playin’ tag, so the chaos of the day suddenly halts and there is time for a bit of thinkin’. Lots of life problems have been solved moving to the rhythem of the porch swing, the clank of chains, the slow moving zone inducing rhythm….it is meditative in itself. Sometimes, there is talkin’ and arguin’ and solving the worlds problems, sometimes good friends–they just sit there all day, moving and thinkin’ and listenin’ and never havin’ to say a word….cause with good friends..there ain’t no need to use words…..there is a way, a movement in the air….and they just know.
Way down in the south, there is a place to think and be….it’s called the porch swing…so if you are heavy, down, or just tired. Take off your shoes, feel the cool breeze on your face and let he rhyme of the swing take you on a holy journey. I’ll see you on the porch swing.
I stood at the window gazing through….I questioned time and time again whether it was you who calls me, keeps calling me, beckons me to come a little closer. So full of love, so tangibly mystical that I often don’t see you, sometimes if I am brutally honest, somedays…well…i don’t believe in you…….help me in my unbelief. But in the same sense, I know I have known you, felt you, sensed you, am a part of you and no matter what I try to do, how I try to run………….there you are, pulling me back.
So Here I am……………Here I am……………..Here I am………….I listening even if it scares the hell out of me. Help me see with a clearer vision O God of my understanding.
Let your true colors show…..(sang by Cyndi Lauper)
For all my life, I’ve been afraid…afraid to let my true gifts out to the world, even as I write, I write under the alias of gracie rae. It seems at the place where I earn my living has the right to monitor what I write and say. It seems they can misconstrue my intentions. They….the proverial they…can think what they may. I’ve made a decision, felt the rising up of my color and I’ve held it in as long as I am going to…..I’m gonna be me and I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks or feel. I am a sexy hot southern born and bred minister who is too liberal and edgy for the traditional church. I continue to feel called. I continue to be beckoned by the divine but my experiences have caused me to feel cynical and be filled with some disbelief that the church might become what it was intended to become–will the church ever let out any true color or will they always live within the framework created by a bunch of crotchety old men.
I am listening..wondering…thinking…..The other day I met a wise healing woman who told me….”your supposed to start a church”. I’ve wrestled with this and thought about this many days. I’ve talked to my gay friends about it and spoken to my liberal edgy friends who say they will come.
I am listening God.
I am listening.
Isn’t it time to let my true colors show….
like a rainbow filled congregation?
what do you think?
“The most significant gifts are the ones most easily overlooked. Small, everyday blessings: woods, health, music, laughter, memories, books, family, friends, second chances, warm fireplaces, and all the footprints scattered throughout our days.”
— Sue Monk Kidd
so much to be grateful for…so many blessings that get overshadowed by the weight of the world that bears on my shoulders… the pressure overwhelms me at times..I feel like at might explode or implode or come unglued. Truth is if I just take a moment to rest, to look at the world, to see the glimmers of life and love break through the Eeyore clouds hanging over me and suddenly the world looks brighter.
so for today…this Sexy Hot mama is thankful for grass that is freshly cut, for the sound of rain on the roof, for a movie and popcorn with my daughter, for love that overlooks a crazy mom moment, for Big Daddy and his constant support, for a house, for air conditioning, for two children who cause my heart to explode with joy….
so much to be thankful for….and yet…if i’m not careful..
the most important things…
may tomorrow bring a more settled approach to my experience of being blessed.
hugs from the southern rambler and happy tomorrows.
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Underneath the ramblings of this southern girl, a story bubbles and gurgles. It pushes on her insides, it contracts with the hopes of being birthed. She once published her thoughts elsewhere but because of certain circumstances, it is now better to write under the Southern name of Gracie Rae. Gracie Rae is one Sexy Hot Southern gal who says what she thinks and means what she says. She is honest to the core –both a good trait and a bad one—many people do not like the truth.
And so the story of us begins….once upon a time, there was a girl who believed that within the experiences of our daily lives, within the reflections of our heart, within our interactions with humanity, when we are willing, we are able to be birthed into the fullness of all we were created to become….
Join Gracie Rae as she writes the radical ramblings and thoughts and shares the story of her life. She writes of faith, hope, love, family, church, God, world, community and pain. She invites you to grab a rocker, pour a glass of lemon-aid, eat a cookie or two or a giant Hershey bar as the we go on a radical journey of a ride.
I can’t wait to get started and I can’t wait to hear from all of you as you share your stories. This Southern Girl is as good as Fried Chicken…She finger licking, mental sparking, finger-clicking…..good!
Y’all come back now….you hear!